Cherish
by Nekochan55000
Summary: After an encounter with the Purple Dragons, an accident, and a freaky meeting with a spirit, Donnie gets a harsh reminder of his worst nightmare... (Yes, I know I suck at summaries...) I'm gonna rate this T.
1. Pottery

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT in any way. If I did...well, let's not go there.

* * *

 **Pottery**

"Can we leave here? It's creepy…"

Mikey stared at an old wooden sculpture and shuddered.

"I don't like this place…"

Leo sighed.

"I know Mikey, I don't like it either, but for the thousandth time, we can't leave until we find the Purple Dragons and get them out of here. The last thing we need is for them to rob some really important exhibit or something."

Mikey slumped.

"Go! Go! Go!"

The Purple Dragons suddenly rushed by, their hands full with piles of artifacts. Mikey tripped one with a flick of his nun chucks. He tripped and the things flew out of his arms. Donnie rushed over and caught the items.

"Careful Mikey! We'd be in just as much trouble if we break something!"

Mikey chuckled nervously and shrugged.

The other two dragons we fairly easy to catch. They took the items from them, and let them go.

"I still say we should clobber them beyond recognition." Raph muttered as they watched them run away. Donnie noticed something shiny still in one of their hands.

"Hey! We missed one!"

He dashed for him, snatching the small clay pot out of his hands. He swung his foot out to trip him. On his way down he swiped at the pot again, knocking it from Donnie's grip. Donnie fumbled for it, but it finally dropped on the floor and shattered. The Purple Dragon made a break for it. Donnie stared at the broken pot in horror.

"Good going Donnie." Raph scoffed.

"And you were telling me to be careful." Mikey commented.

"Let's go, before we break something else." Leo said, waving them on. Leo, Raph, and Mikey started out of the museum. Just as Donnie turned to follow them he heard something whisper:

"You…you broke my pot didn't you?"

Donnie looked around, seeing nothing.

"W-who's there!? Show yourself!"

"That pot was _everything_ to me! That pot was more important to me than my life! It was everything I cared about!"

"Well then you need a hobby."

"Pottery _was_ my hobby."

"Oh."

A barely visible figure with glowing red eyes materialized in front of Donnie. Donnie blinked at it, too spooked to scream.

"You took all that I care about from me, I take everything you care about from you."

Donnie cringed and squeezed his eyes shut as the figure rushed towards him. He was suddenly very cold, then very hot, then the heat subsided until there was only a dull ache in his chest. It was silent. Donnie peeked around. The figure was gone.

"Maybe I'm finally going crazy…" he said to himself.

"Donnie, come on!"

Donnie glanced around the room once more before running to catch up with his brothers.

 **End**


	2. Pizzatose Intolerant

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT. I only wish I can say I owned something that awesome, but that would be lying, and lying is not good at all.

* * *

 **Pizzatose Intolerant**

It had been weeks since the trip to the museum and it's events had been forgotten, or at least not at the forefront of anyone's mind. Although, Donnie did occasionally think about it when his chest hurt similarly to how it did that night. That had been happening frequently, but he never said anything about it.

"Pizza's here!" Mikey yelled. He triumphantly held the box over his head. He jumped on the couch, laid the pizza beside him, and flung the box open. Everyone went for a slice and within minutes it was gone.

"That hit the spot." Raph sighed, patting his stomach.

"Yeah it was especially good tonight." Leo commented.

"Ze piz _za_ was delicioso." Mikey twirled an imaginary mustache.

"Ze _chef_ acknowledged ze _fact_ that ze perfect bal _ance_ between ze tomato sauce and ze cheese is muy importante."

"How did you just go from Italian to Spanish?" Raph asked. Mikey rolled his eyes.

"Whatever bro. Hey Donnie, what'd you think about the pizza?"

Donnie was staring in Mikey's direction, but didn't really seem to be looking at Mikey. He blinked and he eyes focused.

"Wait, what?"

Raph facepalmed.

"And he's supposed to be the _smart_ one."

"The pizza?" Mikey repeated.

Oh, It was good I guess…" Donnie zoned out again.

"Donnie, are you okay?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just…don't feel very good right now."

"You sure? What's wrong?"

Donnie stood.

"Seriously Leo, I'll be fine. I'm going to go lay down. I'll probably feel better tomorrow."

Donnie disappeared into his room. Leo wasn't convinced.

"Hey, hasn't Donnie seemed a bit _off_ to you lately?"

"No, not really." Mikey answered, thinking about it.

"Leo, Donnie can take care of himself." Said Raph.

"He just wants some rest. He'll be fine."

Leo nodded, but still wasn't sure.

Late that night, Leo awoke and decided to check on Donnie. He wasn't in his room, but Leo did hear something from the bathroom. He followed the sound and pushed the door open.

"Donnie?"

Donnie turned to him. He was on his knees in front of the toilet. His entire body was trembling and there was a stream of drool running down his chin. He was looking up at Leo in surprise, but he had pain written all over his face.

"Leo…I-"

He threw up again. Leo came to his side and rubbed circles on his shell.

Once Donnie was done Leo flushed the toilet and knelt by him.

"Donnie?"

"…My stomach hurts…" Donnie whispered, not looking at him.

"Are you going to throw up again?"

Donnie shook his head.

"Let's go get some water then."

Donnie nodded.

Leo helped him up and led him to the kitchen, sitting him down and pouring a him a cup of water. Donnie took it gratefully and sipped at it.

"Donnie, are you sure you're alright?" Leo asked as he sat down.

"Yeah," Donnie mumbled. "I think I'm okay now."

Leo sighed.

"Okay. I'll take your word for it for now, but I'm going to check on you in the morning. Okay?"

Donnie nodded again.

Leo let Donnie finish his water in silence.

'I wonder what upset his stomach like that.' Leo thought.

'I didn't really notice him really eat anything except for the pizza earlier. Was that it? But it wasn't any different than what we usually get, and none of us had a reaction.'

Leo gazed at Donnie sympathetically.

'It's a shame if he can't eat it anymore. Donnie loves pizza almost as much as Mikey does.'

Once Donnie finished his water Leo took him back to his room and wished him a good rest of the night, shutting the door quietly. He had a feeling whatever was going on with him wasn't going to blow over that quickly and made a mental note to keep an eye on him.


	3. Training Gone Awry

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT. I don't okay? One would think if I did I wouldn't be writing fanfiction...I mean, you never know, but I assure, I have no rights over the turtles...no matter how much I love them.

On another note, thanks so much for follows, favorites, and review! You've got no idea how encouragin that is for me!...Or maybe you do...it's really AWESOME! Thank you so much. I also feel kinda bad, because I meant to post this chapter yesterday...but...well...life. Anyway, Enjoy! :)

Oh and just so you know, I was writing this and it was around(SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE WHO ARE BEHIND)...like...when Slash...hurt Splinter because...mind control and stuff...so, that may make stuff make sense.

* * *

 **Training Gone Awry**

Later on the next morning, Leo, Raph, and Mikey were already lined up in the dojo ready for training. Donnie joined last.

"Morning Donnie, feeling better?"

"Yes, much." Donnie lied. His stomach wasn't hurting anymore, but the pain in his chest was back. He wasn't worried about it though. It came and went.

Splinter emerged from his room.

"Leonardo."

Leo went over to him and they talked. Once they finished Splinter went back into his room and Leo joined the others again.

"What was that all about?" Raph asked.

"Sensei is going to rest up a bit, let his leg heal. He put me in charge of training this morning."

Raph groaned.

"Great. What boring exercise are you going to have us do today fearless?"

Leo smirked.

"Actually, I was thinking last turtle standing."

Raph grinned and twirled his sai.

"Sounds good to me."

Everyone took out their weapon and stood in a square at the ready.

"Ready? GO!"

Raph immediately lunged for Donnie. He almost knocked him off of his feet but a quick back-flip maneuver saved him. Donnie groaned. He knew he wouldn't stand a chance with his chest hurting the way it was. It was getting hard to breathe, and he couldn't fight efficiently without breathing. Suddenly, Donnie's body felt increasingly hot. He heard a sinister cackle in the back of his head and his vision blurred. He blinked a few times to try and clear it up, and once he could see clearly again, everything was tinted red.

Raph charged at him again. Panicking, he cringed and squeezed his eyes shut. He heard a loud thud, and realizing it wasn't him who hit the floor, opened his eyes again. Raph was on the opposite side of the room rubbing his head.

"Ooh, nice contact on that one." He heard Mikey say behind him.

He felt himself dodge a swing of Leo's katana that he honestly wasn't even aware of.

"Guess it's just you and me Donnie." He said.

Donnie tried to back away, feeling way too freaked out to be fighting anyone, but nothing happened. He just stayed where he stood, and to his horror, he felt himself rushing towards Leo.

Then it clicked. He wasn't in control of his own body.

Donnie tried to call out to his brother as he saw himself swing his bo staff at him, but no sound left his lips. Heck, he couldn't even get his mouth to open. He attempted to make something, anything, move to his will. His tries were in vain. He just kept attacking Leo.

Leo charged at him again. Right as he was about to strike Donnie grabbed him, spun him above his head, and flung him across the room. Leo hit the wall and slid down to the floor. He shook his head and stared at Donnie in awe.

"Whoa…" Mikey whispered.

"Nice work Donatello, but a bit extreme." Splinter critiqued as he emerged from his room.

"Come, you will fight me." He gestured Donnie closer.

"Sensei, is your leg okay?" Leo asked, sitting down next to Raph and Mikey.

"I will be fine. Come Donatello."

Donnie tried to refuse. Scream, run away, anything but fight Splinter. He didn't want to.

He charged and jumped up, going for a head-shot. Splinter blocked him. Donnie circled him attempting blows at a ridiculously fast speed. Splinter blocked each one. Once he finally got a chance he tried to land an attack on Donnie, but Donnie dodged behind him and struck him on the back of the knee. Splinter flinched and in that second Donnie circled back in front of him, grabbed him by the robe, and flipped him over his head. Splinter flew across the room, landing not to far from the wall. Before he could recover Donnie ran up to him, bringing forth the blade from his staff. He brought it back for a finishing blow.

"NO!" He screamed at himself.

He squeezed his eyes shut and he felt his arm coming down. He didn't feel any contact. He opened his eyes. The red tint was gone. His arm had stopped mid-stab. Splinter was gazing up at him. Donnie could barely see the surprise in his eyes, but it was there. Donnie dropped his bo staff next to him and offered a hand.

"Sensei, are you alright?" he asked, his voice shaking a little.

"I…am fine." Splinter answered, taking Donnie's hand and hoisting himself up.

"As I said, extreme, but effective nonetheless."

Donnie didn't answer. He was too busy trying to calm himself down. The evil laughter echoed through his mind again and he shuddered.

"I will leave the remainder of training to you, Leonardo." Splinter announced.

"Do as you please."

"Hai Sensei." Leo bowed slightly. Once Splinter was back in his room everyone turned to Donnie, who fidgeted under their gaze.

"Dude," Mikey started. "That was intense."

"I think we should stop for today." Leo suggested. Everyone nodded in agreement. Raph and Mikey left first. Before Donnie could leave Leo grabbed him by the arm. He opened his mouth to say something, but when he saw the look on Donnie's face the idea slipped away. Easily sifting past the calm and indifferent facade he was putting on, Leo could see the fear and confusion racing through his little brother. Donnie liked it when he had an explanation for things. It made him feel safe, secure, and confident that he could figure out a way to deal with any situation. But Donnie obviously had no clue how to explain what just happened, and that scared him. Leo sighed and gave him a soft pat on the shoulder.

"I'm not going to pry. I'll just remind you that you can always talk to me, to us. We're here for you Donnie."

Donnie nodded and gave a little smile.

"Right, thanks Leo."

After that, Donnie disappeared into his lab and wasn't seen again all day.

 **End Chapter 3**


	4. Paralyzed

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT. I can barely stomach watching the season finales, you really think I would be able to write them?

I'm really sorry for not posting. I ventured out into the middle of nowhere and had to do internetless for a little while. We're good now though. I can return to posting like I was. :)

* * *

 **Paralyzed**

Donnie stared at the results of the blood test he took. It showed everything was normal. But that had to be impossible. What had happened in the dojo certainly wasn't normal. There was something going on, and Donnie was determined to figure it out. The only thing that was coming up in his head however, was the phantom from the museum. Possession easily explained what was going on.

Donnie shook his head. No way, that was impossible…right? Donnie recalled the memories of Splinter's spirit in the fire back in the woods, and the old Chinese ghost of Ho Chan. Those experiences proved it. It was totally possible.

"So, I have a ghost inside of me." Donnie thought aloud. "How do I get it out?"

Donnie twirled a pencil. It wasn't like he completely sucked at it, but he never really excelled at the whole spiritual thing. His strengths lay in technical thinking. He had no idea what to do and ended up sitting at his desk for hours thinking about it until he nodded off.

Hours later, after night had fallen, Leo entered the lab. He smiled to himself, glad that Donnie had calmed himself down enough to rest.

"Donnie." Leo tapped him on the shoulder. He blinked awake and stretched.

"We're going on patrol. Are you coming?"

Donnie nodded, grabbing his bo staff and following Leo to the others.

Much to Raph's annoyance, patrol served uneventful for the most part, but Donnie liked it that way. He preferred nothing happen while he was still trying to figure out how to make his resident spirit leave. He casually glanced over the side of the building he was on top of, only to be met with the sinister gaze of Bebop and Rocksteady.

Donnie cursed under his breath.

He turned to warn the others of the nearby enemies, but as soon as he opened his mouth the chest pain came back, flaring to the point where it was brutal, and he found himself unable to move.

He tried to call out to his brothers as that sense of panic settled in again. Luckily, Mikey turned around. He had his usual grin plastered on his face, but his smile quickly went away when he spotted something behind Donnie.

Donnie was relieved someone had noticed him. Now if he could only move his arms to point-

"Donnie!" Mikey screamed.

Donnie jerked back as Rocksteady grabbed him by the mask-tails and flung him across the roof. He flailed wildly as he careened over everyone, and for a moment he was sure he was a goner until Raph caught him at the last second.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Raph nodded and dashed into battle. Donnie wiggled his fingers.

'Okay, that was terrifying.' He thought. 'But at least I can move again.'

He charged in to join the fight.

The battle seemed to go on forever, the tides turning over and over again. After being knocked away for what had to be the fifth time in close succession, Donnie found that Raph and Leo were double teamed against Rocksteady, but Mikey was fighting alone against Bebop. Donnie stood to go help him, but standing was as far as he got before he was paralyzed once again, and he was helpless to do anything but watch.

Mikey was doing pretty well against Bebop until he disappeared. Mikey stumbled around as he was hit repeatedly by his invisible adversary from all directions. Bebop reappeared behind him, ready to strike a final blow.

Donnie saw the perfect way to save Mikey from Bebop, but when he tried to carry it out, nothing.

Donnie watched in horror as Bebop brought his arm down. All at once Donnie felt the ability to move return, but it was too late to do anything.

Bebop dealt the final blow, and Mikey fell unconscious.

"MIKEY!"

Donnie charged Bebop, giving him a mighty kick into the air and using his staff to hit a home run with Bebop as the ball. He dropped to his knees and cradled Mikey in his arms. It didn't seem like it was too bad, but Donnie was too disoriented to pay that much attention.

"Leo! Raph!" He screamed.

Once glance at their unconscious little brother gave the two enough adrenaline powered strength to have Rocksteady down within seconds. They ran to Donnie. Leo hoisted Mikey onto his shell and they were dashed over the rooftops back to the lair.

The sight of Mikey getting clobbered while he was helpless to do anything played through Donnie's head repeatedly.

'Mikey's hurt!' He thought.

'I just watched while he was hurt! This is all my fault!'

 **End Chapter 4**


	5. Blame

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT. I do own a freakish amount of merch, but the turtles themselves? Nu-uh.

* * *

 **Blame**

Leo laid Mikey down on the couch. Donnie rushed to him, checking his vitals.

"I'm going to tell Sensei." Leo said, leaving to carry out the action.

"I'll get some water." Raph offered, disappearing into the kitchen.

Donnie just sat there staring at Mikey. He was fine, but that fact refused to register in Donnie's mind for some reason.

'This is my fault' He thought.

'I could have saved him, but I just watched. He's hurt because of me. I couldn't save him.'

Donnie bit his lip. Mikey took a deep breath and his eyes opened. Donnie gasped. Mikey sat up and rubbed his head.

"Bro…did you get the number of that bus? Uwah! Dude! What're you doing!?"

"Mikey, I'm so glad you're okay!"

Mikey chuckled and returned Donnie's hug.

"Thanks, but I think you're overreacting a little. It wasn't _that_ bad."

Donnie broke free of the hug and stared at Mikey in disbelief.

"Wasn't that bad!? Mikey, you scared me!"

"Really? Well, sorry bro, I-"

"No! Don't be sorry! It wasn't your fault!" Donnie hugged him again.

:"It was mine…" He whispered.

"Huh?"

Donnie shook his head, letting Mikey go and standing up.

"I'm gonna go tell Leo you're okay. Raph's coming with water."

"Wait, Donnie-"

Donnie had already gone into the dojo. Raph entered with a cup of water.

"Cool you're awake. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." Mikey took the cup and downed the water. Leo came in soon after, Donnie trailing behind.

"Mikey…" Leo started.

"I'm fine."

"That's good. You had us a little worried there."

"Sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault."

"Right…"

Mikey watched as Donnie silently shuffled though the room, smiled at him one last time, and disappeared into his lab.

"Guys," Mikey said in a hushed tone. "I'm worried about Donnie."

"Why?" Raph asked. "He's worried about you. You're the one who got beat up by Bebop."

"What's wrong Mikey?" Leo questioned.

"Well, I don't know why, but I think Donnie blames himself for me being knocked out."

"Why would he do that?" Raph asked again. Mikey shrugged and turned back to Leo.

"I don't blame him Leo, I don't want him to blame himself."

"Don't worry Mikey, I'll go talk to him."

Mikey nodded and watched Leo until was inside Donnie's lab. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned towards it.

"Sensei."

"Michelangelo, I'm glad you're awake. Are you-"

"I'm fine Sensei."

Splinter chuckled.

"You answered that rather quickly."

"The attention is awesome, but I need people to stop asking me that right now." Mikey replied, gazing off towards Donnie's lab. Splinter nodded and returned to the dojo.

Donnie was absent-mindedly chewing a pencil when he noticed Leo enter.

"Hey Donnie."

"Hi Leo. Is Mikey okay?"

"Mikey is fine. He's worried about you though."

Donnie double-took.

"Huh? Why?"

"He says you blame yourself for him being knocked out."

Donnie's eyes widened. Had he been that obvious? Leo sat on the table next to Donnie.

"Is that true?"

Donnie didn't answer.

"It's not, you know."

"Not what?"

"It's not your fault."

Something inside Donnie snapped.

"But it _is_ Leo. I was right there. I saw he needed help. I knew how to save him. But I couldn't…I didn't do anything."

Leo thought about Donnie's words. He understood how he was feeling all too well. If he had been in the same situation he would be beating himself up in the exact same way. Every time any of the others were hurt he felt the same way.

"Donnie, you're not the type to not do anything to help a situation when you're perfectly capable. You're stubborn. Even when all odds seem against you, you find a way. If there's ever a time when you don't do anything, there's a good reason. I don't know what it was, but I know you tried to help."

Leo stood and patted Donnie's shell.

"It's in the past. No use beating yourself up over it. Mikey's fine and he definitely doesn't blame you. Get some rest Donnie. It's late."

Donnie nodded. Leo smiled and left Donnie alone in the lab. While he did feel a little better, he still felt pretty bad about the whole situation. His mind wandered back to the spirit.

'Clearly I can't rely on outside forces to get the job done.'

Donnie stifled a scream and frantically searched around the room for the source of the raspy voice he'd heard speak.

'You idiot turtle, I'm inside you remember? Why are you looking around like you'll find me somewhere else in the room?'

"Th-the spirit?"

'Hello again. Anyway, I was just thinking about who to wipe out first.'

"Wipe out?"

'I thought I'd be able to paralyze you and just watch as your family was taken down by other people…or mutants in your case. But clearly you're going have to do it yourself.'

"By…myself?"

The realization hit Donnie and he gasped in horror.

'You sure are slow. Aren't you supposed to be the smart one? Oh, but I guess that's the turtle in you showing, isn't it?'

"Don't hurt my family."

'Oh, I'm not going to hurt them. You will.' The voice said with a snicker.

Donnie gripped his chest as the pain flared back up again. The evil cackle echoed through his mind again. He banged his head on the table.

"Get out of my head!" He yelled. There was no reply. Donnie listened for the creepy voice for a few moments before deciding that it had gone away for the moment. He heard the footsteps of his brothers as they went to their rooms for the night. Mikey said something in his usual joking tone, which was followed by a loud THWACK that could only come from Raph planting his hand upside Mikey's head, and an outcry of pain half mixed with laughter. He looked at his laptop background of April eating pizza.

"You took all that I care about from me; I take everything you care about from you."

The words echoed in Donnie's head and he whimpered, crawling under his desk.

"Don't hurt my family."

He whispered, although he wasn't sure who he was saying it to. The spirit inside him,

Or himself.

 **End Chapter 5**


	6. Isolation

Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT. ...I'm totally Mikey for Halloween though. (yes, I'm thinking about that right now)

* * *

 **Isolation**

"Donnie! Donnie!"

Mikey banged on the door of the lab.

"Donnie, come on!"

"This is bad." Leo mused.

"He hasn't been out for days." Raph said

"Not even working on some project ever keeps him in this long."

"Sensei couldn't even get him to come out." Mikey added.

"Donnie! We've got pizza!" Mikey tried again.

"That's how to get _you_ out of _your_ room." Raph hissed.

"Well, I don't have something…Donnie-ish to offer."

"Guys," Leo interjected. "Stop."

"Well what're we gonna do?" Mikey asked. "He can't just stay in there forever."

"You're right, and he won't. He just…won't be coming out just yet."

Leo led Mikey away from the lab, Raph followed behind.

Inside the lab, from under the table, Donnie stomach growled loudly.

'They're gone.'

Donnie shuddered at the sound of the voice again.

'You should eat something. I don't want you dying on me.'

"No. If I leave this room, you'll force me to harm my family."

'You have a point…but you do know I could force you to leave this room any time I wanted, right?'

Donnie gasped.

"Then…why…"

'I'm still thinking. How should I do this? Should I do it one by one, or all at once? Should I take you over completely, so much you don't even know what's going on? Or should I make you watch? Should I-'

"Stop…please…" Donnie gasped.

'Yeah, so I've got plenty to do while you stay in here and starve yourself. You're going to have to go outside sooner or later.'

Donnie shook his head, but the voice was right. The hunger was getting close to unbearable, and while he didn't want to hurt the others, the quickly seeping will to live still lingered, and he'd have to leave the lab soon.

'What're you going to do?'

"I'll go…but not today."

'…suit yourself.'

Donnie took the dismissive tone in the voice to mean that he was going to be left alone for the moment, and while he really didn't want to let his guard down, he was very tired. He felt himself begin to nod off, and though he fought it the entire time, sleep finally took him.

A few days later, Donnie still hadn't left his room. Everyone grew more and more worried for him, but the only one who hadn't stopped attempting to coax him out of the lab was Mikey, who banged on the door every day until Leo stopped him.

It was one of his calmer days. He actually left his usual position under the desk and leaned against the side of it, facing the door as if he were going to walk through it any moment.

'You're going to die y'know.'

The voice didn't even surprise him anymore. He chuckled lethargically.

"That's okay. The others will be safer that way."

'Maybe, but they won't be too happy about you dying'

"But they'll live."

'I bet a day wouldn't pass without the thought of you burdening their hearts.'

"But they'll live.'

'I bet the oldest one would take it out on himself'

"But-"

"Donnie?"

As if he was summoned, Leo rapped lightly on the door. Donnie tensed and tried to crawl back under the desk, this time, he was stopped.

"No…please don't" He whispered. He gripped his chest as the all too familiar burn set in.

'I'm not gonna kill him yet. Just talk to him."

Donnie was forced to the door. He slowly pushed it open. He felt the spirit release him, and his first thought was to slam the door shut once more and return to his desk, but he was held in place by Leo's stare.

Leo was shocked. No part of him had expected a response, much less for the door to actually open. Donnie looked afraid, totally on edge.

"Hi Leo." He whispered.

"I was just checking on you."

Donnie stared at the floor with a troubled expression.

"We're all really worried about you."

"…Sorry."

Leo could barely hear him, but he definitely heard his stomach. He grabbed his hand and pulled him from the doorway.

"You have to eat something, you must be starving."

Donnie silently followed behind Leo.

When they got to the kitchen, Mikey and Raph were at the table, enjoying some pepperoni pizza. As soon as Mikey spotted Donnie he dropped his slice and flew out of his chair. He tackled him, almost knocking him to the ground as he hugged him tight.

"DONNIE! YOU CAME OUT! Oh my gosh I was so worried! Why did you stay in there so long!? Don't do that! I thought-"

"Mikey," Leo cut him off.

"Take it down a few notches."

Mikey nodded and released Donnie from his death grip. Leo led him to the table and Mikey pushed a slice of pizza in front of him.

"You must be hungry, right? Or maybe you're like me. I always keep a stash in my room."

"Gross…" Raph scrunched up his face.

Donnie stared at the pizza. Something seemed to be holding him back. Leo recalled the last time he ate pizza.

"Perhaps you'd like something else?"

"…Just water…please."

Leo didn't like it, but he fulfilled Donnie's request. Donnie downed the cup quickly, let Leo fill it again, and started to drink again, but not nearly as fast. Leo set to slicing fruit. He was determined for Donnie to eat something.

"So Donnie," Raph started. "What's wrong?"

Donnie's eyes widened.

"Wrong?"

"Well yeah." Mikey said. "People don't usually lock themselves in their room for no reason."

Donnie appeared to be searching for something to say. He finished the cup of water again.

"Do you still feel bad about that fight with Bebop and Rocksteady?" Mikey asked. Donnie shook his head. Leo slid the bowl of fruit in front of him.

"This isn't even about that, is it?" Leo asked, but it wasn't a question.

"…There's nothing wrong." Donnie said. Even he flinched at the obviousness of that lie.

"That's not true." Mikey said.

"We want to help you, but we can't if you don't talk to us!" Raph snapped, standing abruptly.

"What if I don't want to talk!?"

"You have to do something! You can't just stay in your lab until you starve! That's not going to do anything!"

"But what if it does do something!?"

"What's that going to do!? Huh!?"

"You wouldn't understand until later!"

"I'D UNDERSTAND RIGHT NOW IF YOU STOPPED LOCKING US OUT AND SAID SOMETHING!"

Donnie stayed quiet. He looked as though he were about to cry.

"Please Donnie, let us help you." Mikey pleaded.

Donnie slid out of his chair and dashed out of the room. The other three jolted as they heard his door slam shut.

"Raph you idiot!" Mikey hissed.

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

Leo didn't bother breaking the two up. He just started at the untouched fruit bowl, lost in deep thought.

Back under the table, Donnie was curled up into a ball, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth. He desperately tried to keep himself together. He heard the low cackle of the spirit again.

"Time's up."

Donnie's breath caught in his throat. He shook his head and hoped for some kind of follow up from the voice in his head, but there was none. A single tear ran down his cheek. He couldn't find it in himself to hold them back anymore. It was over.

His time had run out.

His attempt had been in vain.

He was powerless.

Donnie broke down…

and cried.

 **End Chapter 6**


	7. First Move

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But oh dear gods do I love them.

I keep on missing my update days. Sorry. I'll do better. I promise. :(

* * *

 **First Move**

The lair was quiet.

Everyone had gone to bed.

Even Donnie, still holed up in his lab, had fallen into a fitful rest.

That is, until the searing pain of losing control of his own body woke him.

His body crawled out from under the desk, and left the lab for the second time that night.

Donnie desperately tried to get himself back into the lab, to no avail of course.

It was like watching a movie, but it was in first person and he was the main character, though he had no control over what happened. He could only think about what the spirit had decided to do, who the spirit had selected to take away.

To Donnie's surprise, he found himself leaving the lair.

He was completely confused. Everyone was in their rooms. He had heard them retire. If someone had gotten up, he would have heard it.

He pushed open the usual manhole cover and crawled out, quietly replacing the cover to its place.

What could the spirit possibly want on the surface? Donnie was lost in thought, not even paying attention to where his body was being taken. He realized what was going on all too late, when he landed on the fire escape.

'Oh my God.'

He didn't say it. He couldn't control his mouth. He couldn't control anything. If he could he'd be running back to the lair at full speed to end his own life, not prying open the window to his sweet princess's house.

He was forced to crawl inside. He tiptoed toward her room completely undetectable, although he was actually screaming loud as he could and begging the spirit not to do it.

He pushed her door open. She was soundly asleep. The sight of her would have made Donnie smile if he weren't in such a situation. He loved the way she looked when she was asleep. He remembered the photo of he and her that he kept in his lab. He often would gaze at it in the days when he was allowed to stay in his lab.

Now he was cursing himself for paying the picture any mind. How else would the spirit know that she was dear to him?

He took his bo staff from its position on his back and twirled it in his hands, flicking the blade from its end.

Donnie felt sick to his stomach.

'Oh my God.'

He held the staff directly over her.

It was aimed directly for her heart.

'Let's talk this over!' Donnie tried to reason.

'I mean her life? For a pot? Can't you just…break my laptop or something?'

'…If you're willing to sacrifice it it's not enough.'

'Please! It was an accident! I'm sorry!' Donnie cried.

His pleas fell on deaf ears.

For a moment all was quiet in the room and in his mind.

"…Donnie?"

In one swift movement his staff was brought down.

There was excruciating pain.

Then a sharp high-pitched cry…

Mr. O'Neil rushed from his bed at the sound of the scream. He threw open the door to his daughter's room and took a moment to process what he saw.

Donnie was pressed up against the wall, his hand over his mouth, starting wide-eyed in front of him, though he didn't seem to be seeing anything.

His bo staff was at his feet. There was something red covering the blade.

April was in bed, though her covers were tossed back. She had the same red staining her sheets and pajamas.

Mr. O'Neil dashed for her.

He side was sliced clean open.

He started back up at Donnie, who had finally focused himself. He was looking back at Mr. O'Neil in terror.

"Did you…?" O'Neil started. He coughed. He really didn't want to believe his eyes.

"Did you…do this?" He asked quietly.

Donnie didn't answer.

"You did this, didn't you?" Again, it was no question. He felt anger rising like lava in a volcano.

"I-"

"YOU DID THIS!" He roared. Donnie cringed.

"GET OUT! TAKE YOUR WEAPON AND GET!"

"I-"

"LEAVE!"

Donnie scooped up the staff and flew out the window.

Mr. O'Neil grabbed April's phone off her nightstand.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"I need an ambulance, now!"

Donnie ran as fast as his legs could take him and even faster. He kept stumbling and tripping over nothing but he didn't stop or look back.

'…You overpowered me.'

"SHUT UP!" Donnie screamed

'That's pretty amazing.'

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

'Worry not, the next time won't be so easy.'

Donnie ran faster still.

Leo picked up the heart adorned photo frame, examining the picture of Donnie and April inside. He had woken up that night when he felt something was off, and was surprised to find Donnie's lab door open. He had ended up staying inside the lab to think once he discovered, even more surprisingly, that Donnie wasn't in there.

He suddenly heard fast footsteps, a splashing sound, then the footsteps continued. Leo stepped out of the lab to see Donnie running at full speed.

"Donnie-"

He ran right past Leo. Leo dropped the picture and bolted after him.

Something was horribly wrong.

Leo followed Donnie into the kitchen.

Donnie jerked open a drawer and removed the largest, sharpest knife they had.

He pressed it to his neck and-

Leo caught him by the wrist.

"DONNIE, NO!" Leo tried to pull his hand away from his neck.

"LET ME GO!"

"NO!"

"GET OFF!"

"NO!"

"LEO-"

"NO! I WILL NOT LET YOU KILL YOURSELF!"

Donnie dropped the knife.

"BUT I WANNA DIE!"

He fell to his knees.

"I WANNA DIE! PLEASE! PLEASE LET ME END THIS! I'M TOO _DANGEROUS_ TO LIVE ANYMORE!"

Leo watched his little brother, completely speechless.

"So please…just…I wanna…"

Donnie buried his face in his hands and broke into a fit of uncontrollable sobbing.

Leo did the only thing he knew he could.

Kneel down and hug him.

"Oh. Donnie."

Leo was slightly glad the Donnie seemed to lean into him once he had wrapped his arms around him a opposed to pulling away, but his cries did not subdue.

Not for a while.

Once her finally did fall silent he just stayed where he was, comfortably wrapped in Leo's arms.

After a stillness that seemed to last an eternity, he finally spoke.

"You should get away from me."

It caught Leo off guard, but he stayed cool.

"I won't."

"Leo, please-"

"Don't you start. I'm _not_ leaving you."

Donnie stayed quiet.

"…Do you want to talk about it?"

Donnie shook his head. Leo sighed. He stood, helping Donnie up with him.

"Come on, I'll keep you company tonight."

"Oh no, you don't have to-"

Leo gave Donnie a look. It wasn't angry, but it was stern, and Donnie instantly shut up.

Leo led Donnie to his room and into his bed. He lay down beside him. Not five minutes later Donnie was out like a light bulb, but was far from peaceful.

Leo gazed at him with a worried expression.

"Oh Donnie…" He whispered, wiping a falling tear from his brother's face.

"What is going on? Why won't you open up?"

 **End Chapter 7**


	8. Communication

Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles. Not at all, but I can't wait for the fourth season! XDDDDDDD *flies away*

I didn't post yesterday...sorry. I meant. Y'know..homework. Anyway, thanks for reviews, continue to do so, enjoy!

* * *

 **Communication**

Leo closed the door behind him with a sigh.

"I guess you weren't able to get anything out of him again?"

Leo looked up at Raph, Mikey, and Master Splinter. He shook his head sadly.

"I don't understand why he'd do that."

"I'm just glad you were there to stop him Leonardo."

Leo sighed again and massaged between his eyes with his fingers.

"If you're tired I'll keep Donnie company while you-"

"He won't let you in remember?" Raph cut Mikey off. "You tried already…repeatedly. It won't work, he only let's Leo in."

"Sometimes," Leo added. "He lets me in sometimes."

Mikey pouted, but didn't offer again. Leo smiled slightly.

"Thanks for offering Mikey. Under other circumstances I'd probably take you up on it, but this doesn't allow that."

Mikey smiled back and nodded.

"Sensei, could I talk to you? Alone?"

Splinter nodded and dismissed Raph and Mikey. Leo followed him to the dojo and they sat down facing each other.

"What is it you wanted to talk about Leonardo?"

"It's about Donnie. Why he tried to commit suicide."

"I figured so."

"Well, um, sometimes Donnie talks in his sleep."

"Really? And what is it that he talks about?"

"Well, it's mostly like he's pleading someone to stop. It starts off quiet, then it gets louder and more desperate. Finally either he wakes up or I'll wake him up and he'll start crying."

Splinter stayed silent as he processed Leo's words.

"Does he ever mention a name? Whoever he's asking to stop?"

"Yeah, his own."

"…This is serious."

"How so?"

"Well, either something happened that made Donatello want to take his own life, or the attempt was not of his own will."

"Well, he wasn't in his lab or in his room the night he tried…"

Splinter nodded.

"Something may be forcing him to do things he does not want to do."

"But who? And what do they want? What could they have possibly made Donnie do that he would have tried to kill himself?"

Splinter shook his head.

"These things I do not know, but they need to be found out. If Donatello truly is being controlled, and this is the effect it has had on him thus far, this is a much more serious situation than it may seem."

"More serious than Donnie committing suicide?"

"Leonardo, he may have been merely trying to prevent something much worse."

With that that Splinter stood and disappeared into his room, leaving Leo to let those words sink in.

Leo bit his lip and left the dojo, making his way back to Donnie's room. He lightly rapped on the door before opening it and slipping in.

"…Leo?"

"That's me."

Donnie eased out of his shell and sat up on the bed, staring at Leo intently.

"Call April."

"April?"

Donnie nodded. Leo wondered why he requested this, but he didn't question him.

He took out his T-phone and dialed April's number.

Donnie almost seemed to be holding his breath as the phone rang. After what seemed like an eternity someone picked up.

"Hello?"

The voice was almost a whisper, but it was definitely April. Donnie had the happiest look on his face since three weeks ago. That's how long it had been since his suicide attempt. That's how long it had been since the last time he didn't look totally depressed.

"Hi April."

"Hi Leo, what's up?"

"Donnie wants to talk to-"

Donnie tensed and shook his head violently.

"Uh, I mean…um…"

"Donnie's with you?"

"Uh…"

"Can I talk to him?"

"I-"

" _Please_ Leo, I _need_ to talk to him."

"I-I don't"

" _Leo."_

'Why do people keep pleading me for stuff?' Leo thought to himself.

He walked up to Donnie and shoved the phone in his hand. Donnie shook his head again and tried to give it back. Leo stepped back.

'Talk to her.' He mouthed.

Donnie looked from Leo to the phone frantically. Finally he put the phone to his ear.

"April?" He whispered.

"Donnie? It's you right?"

"Yeah…"

"Thank goodness. Donnie I need to talk to you. It's about the night three weeks ago. Remember?"

Donnie's face darkened.

"Yeah…"

"My dad is overreacting. It's not that bad. I figured you'd be worried too. I am alright. Okay? Nothing fatal was hit."

Donnie nodded slowly, seeming only slightly relieved.

"O…okay…"

"Donnie, something was different about you that night. It wasn't you."

He seemed to stop breathing.

"You have to tell me what's going on."

Donnie didn't say anything.

"My dad blames you. He's crazy. I don't blame you at all. There was something going on. I just need you to tell me what."

"Donnie…" Leo started. He tensed, noticing the look on Donnie's face.

"Donnie _please_."

"…I…I'm sorry April."

Donnie put down the phone and walked out of the room.

"Donnie, where-"

"Bathroom."

Leo watched him go, then slowly picked up the phone.

"April?"

"Leo?"

"I'm sorry April. Donnie just left. He hasn't really been himself lately."

"Really? Well, it's believable."

"April, can you tell me what happened? I noticed he was gone that night three weeks ago, but he hasn't told me…or anyone what happened. I mean, he won't talk to anyone but me."

"Wait, seriously? He hasn't told you anything?"

"No. I thought you might know."

"Well, I don't know all the details, but I woke up that night and Donnie was there. He sliced me through the side, though, at first I'm pretty sure he was aiming for my heart."

Leo froze.

"What?"

"Don't get the wrong idea! It wasn't Donnie. His eyes, they were glowing red when I saw him. And when he redirected the blade his eyes stopped glowing and he started freaking out. It wasn't him…"

"…Sensei was right…that's why…"

"My dad came in and he was really mad. I'm pretty sure Donnie ran-wait what? What's why? What happened?"

"You're right, Donnie ran. He ran all the way back home and he…he…"

"He what? What'd he do? Don't leave me hanging!"

"I think he felt so bad about hurting you…he tried to kill himself. He attempted suicide."

There was a moment of silence. The only way Leo knew April hadn't hung up was the sound of her breathing on the other end. He could only imagine how April was feeling at the moment.

"…is he okay?" She whispered.

"Physically, yes. Mentally, no. He hasn't left his room since that night and he won't let anyone inside or talk to anyone but me. But he doesn't really say much anyway. He didn't say anything about what happened."

"…I wish I could be there."

"It's okay, I'll keep you posted."

"Do you know what's wrong with him?"

"No, but we have an idea. Sensei said that-"

Leo never got to finish his sentence for he dropped the phone and ran out of the room.

"…Leo? Leo?"

April never got a response. The last thing she heard was a bloodcurdling scream.

She knew that scream.

It was Michelangelo's.

And then the line went dead.


	9. Retreat

Disclaimer: I don't own the TMNT! But my excitement literally cannot be contained for the 4th season! *high pitched squealing*

Thank you so much for reviews! They really brighten my day! :) Enjoy!

* * *

 **Retreat**

"No, but we have an idea. Sensei said that-"

…

Leo didn't bring his katana blades with him when he went into Donnie's room for safety purposes. He left them in the confines of his own room, far enough from Donnie's reach since he never left his own.

Clearly not far enough,

For Donnie was holding one at the ready as he rushed past the open doorway.

And as April had described over the phone,

His eyes were glowing red.

Leo forgot about the phone, dropping it as he rushed out behind Donnie.

A terrified scream pierced the calm quiet in the lair.

That was Mikey's scream.

When Leo got to the den, he was relieved to see Mikey on his feet, but relief didn't have the time to settle in before shock and fear flooded in after it.

Mikey, who had been asleep on the couch, was trembling in the corner of the room, one of his nun chucks held out in front of him. It didn't appear deep, but there was a small slit on his upper right arm. A trickle of blood slowly oozed from it.

Donnie was inspecting the blade of Leo's katana. The red glow of his eyes reflected off the steel of the blade as Donnie held it up to his face. His mouth twisted into a sinister grin.

"You dodged. Next time you won't be so lucky." He stated, using the same tone one may use when speaking to an insect, or someone they held at the same status.

It sounded as though two people were talking at once. One voice faintly resembled Donnie's. The other was deep and emotionless. It sent chills up Leo's spine.

Before anyone could blink Donnie was in front of Mikey, who screamed again out of surprise. Donnie swung, but Mikey dodged at the last second, this time Donnie didn't stop. He changed his direction and used the katana to trip Mikey, leaving a thin cut on his legs. Mikey tried to get up and run away but Donnie slammed his foot on his shell, pinning him down. Mikey slammed his palms on the ground as he desperately tried to get away from Donnie, who merely smiled at his frantic little brother. He positioned the sword once more, tension building in his arms ready to strike a frighteningly powerful blow.

Leo flung himself in the path of the swing and caught the blade in his hands.

"DONNIE! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"You're rather impatient. You can't even wait for me to finish off your brother before you rush to your own death."

"DONNIE THIS ISN'T YOU! TAKE CONTROL BACK!"

"Foolish turtle…"

Donnie wrenched the katana from Leo's hands. Leo winced as he felt his palms get sliced open, blood promptly running down his arms.

"Donnie…"

In a split second, the grin vanished from Donnie's face. He blinked, the red quickly faded from his eyes, and for a second there was nothing on Donnie's face but pure terror.

A battle cry erupted from behind Leo. Raph rammed into Donnie, sending him flying across the room. He hit the floor and rolled until the wall stopped him with a loud bang. Donnie lay on the floor motionless.

Raph stood in front of Leo and Mikey, his sais drawn.

"Raph wait!"

Raph looked over his shoulder back at Leo.

"What happened?"

His voice was quiet, but Leo could hear the raging angry flames behind them. He opened his mouth to explain, hopefully to try and calm Raph down, but Donnie stirring distracted him.

Donnie slowly pushed his upper body off the ground. He held his head and grimaced, then as he seemed to realize something, he whipped his head towards the other three.

He studied Raph's face and cowered a little, clearly frightened of Raph's calm but obviously infuriated expression. He looked behind Raph at Leo. He slumped and let his gaze fall to Mikey. Donnie stopped breathing. He pressed himself into the wall. His mouth opened and closed as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't. Tears bubbled up in the corner of his eyes.

Donnie jumped and sprinted towards the subway tunnels. Leo and Raph followed.

Before they had even gotten past the turnstiles Donnie was starting up the Shellraizer.

"Donnie!" Leo called. But it was too late. Donnie floored the accelerator and sped away.

Leo's first impulse was to follow him, but instead he shook his head and turned to go back to Mikey, motioning for Raph to follow.

When they got back Splinter was at Mikey's side, carefully wrapping a bandage around his arm. Leo dropped to his knees beside him.

"Mikey are you okay?"

Mikey was shivering slightly, but he turned to Leo and gave a small smile.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Just a little…" Mikey trailed off, He shook his head and smiled again. "It's nothing serious."

His voice was trembling. Leo wasn't convinced, but he left it alone.

"Sensei."

"Leonardo, whatever is inside of Donatello will no longer wait. It is making its move."

"Well what do we do?"

"Wait, what do you mean 'whatever's inside Donnie'? What's going on?" Raph asked.

"Donnie's possessed." Leo replied bluntly. "Whatever or whoever is possessing him is the reason why he attacked Mikey and why he hurt April, He's being forced to do it. He locked himself in his lab and his room...and he tried to kill himself...to protect us."

"...he hurt...April?" Raph repeated, clearly dumbstruck. Leo ignored his question and turned his attention back to Splinter.

"Sensei we have to do something."

"You are right. You must find Donatello and bring him back. After that, we will find a way to relieve him of the spirit."

Leo nodded.

"But...you will not do so right now. Give me your hands Leonardo."

Leo bit his lip and held out his hands. The bleeding had stopped, but it still didn't look too good. Sensei pulled a cleaning wipe out of his first-aid kit and began to clean the wound.

"We can't wait Sensei. The spirit isn't."

"You are right, but rushing out to follow him this instant is not wise. You must give your wounds time to heal."

"...Can we go tomorrow? At least by then they'd be bandaged."

Splinter sighed, but nodded.

"You may."

Leo nodded and sat quietly to let Sensei bandage his hands.

"Leo?"

"Yes Mikey?" He was glad Mikey's voice had regained its usual strength and cheery undertone.

"I hope Donnie never decides to be a bad guy. He's terrifying when he's evil."


	10. Retrieval

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but I obsess like you wouldn't believe!

Oh my gosh, beautiful reviews! Thank you so so so much! XD This story's getting close to its end...I'll have to conjure something else up for you guys. But not yet, meanwhile, Enjoy! (^u^)

* * *

 **Retrieval**

Leo got up earlier than the others the next day. He snuck out of the lair and did his best to stay hidden in the alleys of New York, even though it was broad daylight. Once he was on the roof tops he was safe for the most part.

He sprinted towards the hospital. He had talked to April again before going to bed. He told her everything. All the way since Donnie's sudden inability to digest pizza, which he figured had to do with the spirit as well. She had made him promise to come to her room the next day before they went to find Donnie.

Finally arriving and rapping at her window, she pulled the window up and Leo swung inside. After he was in she immediately sat down, looking almost winded. She was wearing her usual clothing. If Leo didn't know better, she'd look perfectly fine.

"April, are you okay?"

She waved dismissively.

"I'm fine…I'm not the one to worry about right now."

"I don't want you to push yourself too much."

"I told you, I'm fine…Do you have any idea where Donnie may have gone? You said he took the Shellraizer."

"I have an idea. I figured he would want to be as far from anyone as possible so-"

"The farmhouse!" April realized. "That's perfect. So you're going to look there first?"

"Yeah. The problem is, that's the extent of my ideas, if he's not there…"

"He'll be there. If he's the Donnie I know he'll be there."

Leo nodded, a sense of certainty washing over him. April stood again and slowly limped towards Leo. She lost her balance and Leo caught her.

"What are you doing?"

"Take me to the lair."

"What? No!"

"I want to be there for Donnie when you bring him back."

"April, you're in no shape to-"

April scratched at the bandages on Leo's hands. Leo winced. April smirked.

"Take me to the lair please."

Leo opened his mouth to protest again, but he let out the air in an exasperated sigh before letting April climb on his shell and climbing back out the window with a halfhearted "Hold on tight."

Once back at the lair, Leo sat April down on the couch.

"Anything hurt?"

"No."

Leo rolled his eyes.

"Sure."

Raph, Mikey, and Splinter entered the room. Splinter gave Leo a disapproving look and Leo chuckled nervously.

"Where'd you go off to?" Raph questioned. Leo didn't get the chance to answer before Mikey ran over to April.

"April! You're okay! I thought you were in the hospital!"

"I was. I figured this was more important."

Mikey smiled and nodded.

"Alright guys." Leo said, going into leader mode. "We should get going. Every second counts."

"Where are we going?" Mikey asked.

"Yeah fearless, Donnie could be anywhere."

"We're going to look at the farmhouse."

"And if he's not there."

"He's there." April said again. Raph looked at her incredulously for a moment, but shrugged a little as if giving in.

"Be safe my sons." Splinter said, stepping forward and resting a hand on Leo's shoulder. Leo nodded, his face painted with determination.

"Hai Sensei."

With that, Leo, Raph, and Mikey were in the Party Wagon and speeding off to rescue Donnie.

"Now, let's see if I can do something to subdue your pain." Splinter said, turning to April. April straightened up and forced a smile.

"Pain? Who's in pain? I'm not in pain."

"April, ignoring it will only get you so far."

April sighed and slumped again. Splinter sat next to her and quietly began chanting.

* * *

The silence in the car was heavy. No one had said a word since they left the lair.

After what seemed an eternity, they neared the familiar dirt of the farmhouse.

"Now, won't this be a waste of time if Donnie's not here." Raph muttered to no one in particular.

"Smoke means fire right?" Mikey asked.

"Usually." Leo replied. "Why?"

"Fire means people right?"

"Well, yeah I guess so."

"Okay. I think Donnie's here…but I don't know why he'd make that much of a fire."

Leo peered up at the sky. He gasped when he spotted the ink black smoke that stained the blue sky in the distance.

"Let's go." Raph whispered.

Leo pressed down the accelerator.

When they turned the last bend and were finally at the house it took them less than a second to be out and sprinting around the house. The three of them gasped.

The Shellraizer was flipped over, the front of it smashed against a particularly large tree. It looked like flames had just died out, a thick plume of smoke still spouting from it. By some miracle, the tree didn't look as though it had burned.

"Oh no."

Leo dashed to the vehicle. He squinted through the smoke as he tried to look inside. He got just enough time to see it empty before Raph grabbed him by the shell and jerked him out and away from the smoke.

"Leo, what the heck is wrong with you!?"

"He's not in there." Leo gasped. Raph took a deep breath and knelt to Leo.

"Look, we're going to find Donnie and we're going to bring him back home. Please don't do anything stupid and put your life in danger before we find him. Just don't ever. Kay?"

Leo nodded.

The both of them stood and turned back to the farmhouse.

"Why do I doubt he's in the house?" Leo asked,

"I'll go check the house."

Mikey ran off into the house. A moment he returned.

"He's not in the house."

"Then that leaves the forest…"

"…How are we gonna find him in that" Raph asked.

"Yeah Leo, that's a lot of trees." Mikey added.

Suddenly, an ear-piercing scream echoed through the trees.

"I think we found-"

"Leo…"

"LEO!"

For a moment, Leo didn't even know what was going on. All he knew was immense pain in his head. He opened his eyes, though he didn't remember closing them, and realized he was right by a tree, facing the farmhouse. He slowly sat up and leaned against it. Raph and Mikey were standing in front of him, weapons drawn. Donnie stood a few yards in front of them wielding a stick, sharpened to a frightening point on one end. His eyes were red, but he had tears fast streaming down his cheeks.

"WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME!?" He screamed. It was definitely Donnie, but it was clear he wasn't completely in control.

"Donnie…?"

"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE! NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Raph growled. He charged at Donnie.

"Raph no!" Leo yelled. Raph didn't listen. He attacked; Donnie blocked and pushed him back.

"RAPH DON'T DO THIS! GO HOME!" Donnie cried as he swung his makeshift bo staff at Raph furiously. Raph was barely dodging the hits.

"We're only going home if you come with us!"

"I'M NOT- I CAN'T GO BACK."

Raph tried to duck and come at Donnie with a low hit. Donnie jumped up and whacked Raph on the head, though the way he cried out one would think he was the one who got hit. Raph fell and skidded to a stop, taking a moment before he pushed himself off the ground.

"I'm dangerous..." Donnie whispered. "…too dangerous…"

Mikey jumped on Donnie's back. Donnie immediately tried to shake him off.

"C'mon bro, you're not dangerous! I mean, to bad guys yeah, but not to us! You're our brother!"

Donnie flipped backwards, successfully getting Mikey off of him. Mikey held his head, squirming in pain as he lay on the ground. Donnie's fingers were suddenly around his throat.

"I know Mikey. You're my brother and I love you very much."

Donnie squeezed tighter and tighter. Mikey fought to breathe. He tried to kick Donnie away, but it did nothing.

"That's why you have to leave…I don't want to kill you."

Mikey pounded on Donnie's arms, desperately trying to get him to let go.

"Don…nie…"

Donnie choked back a sob.

Leo rammed into Donnie so hard, Mikey cringed at the gust of air that followed behind his older brother. Raph was immediately by his side, helping him sit up.

"You okay Mikey? Deep breaths."

Mikey nodded as he breathed deep, the color returning to his face in response to the replenishment of oxygen.

"Leo…"

Donnie swiped at Leo's legs, but Leo jumped at the last second, avoiding a reunion with the ground.

"Take Raph and Mikey and get out of here."

Donnie tried to stab him, but Leo managed to block with the flat side of his katana.

"No Donnie. We're not leaving without you. You have to take control! You can do it!"

Leo sliced Donnie's makeshift bo staff in half. Donnie spun them around in his hands, wielding them like Leo would his katana.

"I can't."

Donnie charged Leo. Leo sidestepped him and used his katana to trip him, being careful not to cut his ankles. Donnie fell forward; the remnants of his weapon flew out of his hands. Leo pounced on him, trying to hold him down. Donnie rolled over so he was on top of Leo.

He punched him in the face.

Hard.

Leo jolted on impact. Most of it was out of surprise. He didn't even know Donnie was capable of hitting that hard. It put Raph to shame.

Donnie punched him again. Leo coughed and spit out blood onto the grass.

!POW!

That was three…

"Leo,"

Four…

"You've been here for me the entire time."

Five six….

"I tried to push you away but you wouldn't go."

Seven eight nine…

"…You're the best older bro ever."

Leo cringed as he waited for the next blow, his hands shaking as he held them in front of his face. He felt sick to his stomach as the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut.

There was a really loud "THUNK!"

But no impact…on Leo at least.

Leo opened his eyes and removed his arms from in front of his face to see Donnie laying limp in front of him.

He was breathing, but he was out cold.

Mikey stood beside the two of them, breathing hard. He had the unsharpened end of Donnie's weapon in his hand.

"Mikey."

"It was the only way." Raph said, walking up behind them.

He helped Leo off the ground and dusted him off.

"You alright? Got any teeth left?"

Leo rolled his eyes.

"I'm fine. I've got a headache, but I'm fine."

The three looked down at their unconscious brother. He still looked stressed, even though he was out cold.

"We have to hurry. There's no time to lose." Leo urged.

Leo and Raph carried Donnie to the Party Wagon. Raph drove. Leo called April, informing her that they'd found Donnie and were on their way back. Mikey's eyes never left Donnie's face on the entire ride. Mikey bit his lip as the earlier battle played through his mind.

'YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE…DON'T DO THIS…I'm dangerous…I don't want to kill you…I can't…'

"But you can Donnie…" Mikey said to himself. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around Donnie's shoulders.

"I believe in you…"


	11. Cherish

Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles...

Last chapter!...I mean...unless I write something after this. I probably won't. I love all of those who read and all of those who commented so much! I mean it!

Thanks so much for reading, enjoy the last chappy! (^U^)

* * *

 **Cherish**

Raph didn't ease up on the accelerator until they were pulling up in front of the lair. No one wasted any time bringing Donnie out of the Party Wagon. April was waiting at the entrance for them. She gasped, as they passed her, turning and walking beside Leo.

"Is he…"

"He's okay for now, just unconscious."

April nodded and decided to stay silent for the time being.

They finally got to the dojo, when Master Splinter was waiting. As soon as they walked in the door Splinter took Donnie from them and laid him on the floor, sitting down beside him. The others took a seat on the other side.

"What are you going to do?" Leo asked quietly. Splinter sighed.

"Do you remember the Rat King?"

"How could we forget?" Mikey answered, the others nodding in agreement.

"What I'm going to do to Donatello is somewhat similar to what the Rat King did to me. The rat king was able to see into my mind, and I will be able to see into his." Splinter gestured towards Donnie and shook his head.

"I don't like it, for it is rather intrusive, but it may be the only way to purge the spirit."

The boys and April nodded. They quietly watched as Splinter closed his eyes and seemed to glow. He reached out and rested a hand on Donnie's head, then they were both glowing. All was silent.

"Now what?" Mikey asked.

"Now we wait." Leo answered.

* * *

Splinter slowly channeled his energy into Donnie. At first, all was dark, then bright bursts of color and sound were exploding before his eyes. He recognized them. Memories…and they were recent.

Splinter recognized the fast passing of trees as Donnie drove in the Shellraizer…a sudden surge of pain making Donnie lose control…the vehicle flipping and crashing against a tree…Donnie being violently thrown out before it burst into flames. Again, everything was dark, but Splinter still felt hints of strong emotion.

Sadness…and fear. Lots and lots of fear.

The pictures were back. Leo, Raph, and Mikey battling against Donnie. Mikey struggling to remove Donnie's fingers from around his neck. Leo spitting up blood as he was punched over and over.

He heard Donnie's screams, and could almost feel the burning ache in his heart as he was forced to do things he had no desire to do. Splinter understood Donnie's extreme measures to try and put an end to it all. Only a fraction of the pain made him want to retreat back into the comfortable warmth of his own mind. But he didn't stop. He pushed through the colorful chaos until finally it was dark again,

Then he spotted it.

The wispy figure of a boy, looking no older than Donatello himself. He wore a dark blue tunic and a black apron over it, the same color of his pitch black hair. The brightest spots on the boy were the light smudges of dried clay all over his clothes, hands, and face, his pale skin, and the glowing red of his eyes.

The boy turned as Splinter approached him. A smirk appeared on his face.

"You're the turtle's father aren't you? This is a very strange family."

The child's voice was surprisingly deep. Even with the pleasant way he was speaking there was a menacing undertone. He floated over and grabbed Splinter's hand in a firm handshake.

"It's nice to meet you."

Splinter nodded and slipped his hand free from the boy's.

"I suppose you already know why I have come here."

The boy's grin widened.

"No idea."

"I must request you leave my son's body immediately. He can no longer withstand your presence."

The boy got suddenly serious.

"I'm not leaving. I've got a bone to pick with your son, and I'm not leaving this body until he had paid the price for messing with me."

"Might I ask what he has done to cause you to be so angry?"

The boy glared at Splinter, but finally shrugged and snapped his fingers. A floating circle appeared next to him. Inside was a picture of what was clearly him when he was younger and his parents.

"This is my mother and father. My mother was a florist. She loved gardening. We had a huge garden where all of her flowers and fresh fruit grew. My father was a potter. He made the vases that she put her flowers in. He was known to be the best potter of all the lands. People came from all around and paid big money to get their hands on one of his works."

"It sounds like you admired your father a lot."

The boy nodded.

"I did. I looked up to him. I decided I'd become as great of a potter as he was."

The picture merged into another, his father helping sculpt what would be a pot.

"My father helped me pursue that dream, and soon I made my own reputation in the world of pottery as well. Then things got bad."

The picture changed again. A thick man in brightly colored robes, but there was something off about him.

"The richest man in the area requested a pot from my father. No one really liked him. He was known to be a horrible spoiled man, but my father accepted his request with open arms as he would any other. Around the same time my mother fell ill. My father was constantly at her side and he couldn't complete the pot by the deadline. When the man came back looking for his pot and found nothing, he got upset. He took my parents away and told me that he'd give me a chance to make him his pot. If I could do it by the deadline he'd give my parents back. If I couldn't he said he'd make sure it was the last pot we ever made."

The picture changed. It was the boy again, but the same age as he appeared in his wispy form. He was working hard to sculpt the rich man's pot."

I worked day and night to complete his pot. My skills were great, but still not on the same level as my father, so I had to work twice as hard. I finished it though, and I thought it looked wonderful. But when the man came again…he didn't like it. He said it wasn't up to his standards.

I had only just finished his pot when he came, so the kiln was still hot…

He threw me and both of my parents inside and lit up the fire.

A pot that I had been working on before he came along and jacked up our lives was still in that kiln. I had meant for it to be a surprise gift for my parents. I guess I always cherished it in death because…even as we burned alive, my parents accepted my gift. The last thing they did was thank me for it. I spent years protecting it. When the archeologists found it and put it in that museum, I was there. I put my heart and soul into that pot. It was the symbol of my family.

That's the pot _your_ son broke."

The picture disappeared and there was an explosion of color again. The distinct sound of the pot shattering echoed through the color.

"Good going Donnie."

"And you were telling me to be careful."

"Let's go, before we break something else."

There had been a sad, nostalgic look on the boy's face when he told his story. That was gone now. There was nothing but anger, as if the replay of the incident in which the pot broke had rekindled his flame.

"Your son broke the only thing that was left of my family. It symbolized us. It had been covered in our ashes. That pot was EVERYTHING to me!"

The area seemed to get hotter and hotter. A red glow surrounded the boy.

"He took away everything, and I will take everything from him!"

"...Your anger is misdirected."

The darkness lit up in a hot flame like glow. The boy got in Splinter's face.

"Well he broke the pot didn't he!?"

"Yes, by accident, but that is not even what you are upset about is it?"

"Of course it is! He broke my family's pot! He took it away from me! He took everything away from me!"

"My son is not the man who caused you and your family's death!" Splinter shouted back.

The flames disappeared.

The boy seemed shocked for a second, the angry look gone from his face. He shook his head and took on an agitated pout.

"I never said he was."

"Never those exact words, but I think you losing your pot reminded you of the feeling of losing your family, since you said the pot symbolized your family."

The boy looked confused. He shook his head again, appearing to be thinking.

"No, no, it's because…my pot…it's all his fault…"

"Who's?"

"The…your…your son! Donatello's!"

"Is it? Why do your cherish that pot again?"

"Because it symbolizes my family, which was taken away from me by…"

"Not my son. Child, you are taking out your anger on the wrong one."

The boy laughed. He looked up at Splinter. He almost looked lost. Splinter pitied the child. He could relate to feeling like everything he cared about had been taken away, that feeling of hurt, anger, sadness, but he had learned to move on. Not to forget, but not to dwell on the past. And by doing that he had found something else to call his everything. He had a new family now. He pitied the child because clearly, moving on was not something he had figured out how to do, and it had driven him to causing pointless harm. And now that he was realizing his flaw, he was lost.

"No, I have to be angry at him. It makes sense, otherwise, why would I have tried to kill his girlfriend?"

Splinter placed at hand on the child's translucent shoulder.

"Child, I understand why you may feel upset. That pot meant a lot to you. But trust me when I tell you that my son had no ill will towards you or your family. Therefore, trying to destroy him and his…"

"I'm just as bad as the man who…"

Splinter nodded.

"I wouldn't wish my fate on anyone." The boy whispered.

The silence they had been left in was interrupted by what started as a soft whimper, seeming to be coming from a distance. Donnie's image formed at little ways away. The image was weak and flickering, but he was there. He was crouched down, his head between his knees. Quiet sobs echoed through the dark.

Splinter dashed to the image of his son, dropping to his knees in front of him.

"Donatello…"

Donnie looked up. Splinter's heart broke a little at the sight of his child. He was so broken and helpless. He was lost. He was scared.

"S-Sensei…" he choked out.

Splinter wrapped his arms around Donnie, his body trembling in his arms.

Splinter noticed the boy walk up in to them and drop to his knees as well.

"I…I'm…"

Donnie glanced towards him. He flinched and pressed into Splinter, trembling even more.

The boy flung his arms around Donnie, tears springing from his eyes.

"I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS! I'VE BEEN HORRIBLE! NO! I WOULDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO ANYONE!"

The boy cried, clinging on to Donnie for dear life. It was heart wrenching, the sound of that child's crying, filled with more sadness and regret that Splinter thought any child that age should know, at least, any child the age he had died.

Donnie turned his head again, this time without recoiling in fear.

"I…I'm sorry I broke your pot." He whispered.

"DON'T BE SORRY! YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. IT WAS ME! I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE… I'M SORRY DONATELLO! I'M SO SORRY!"

Donnie hugged him back, both of them burying their face into each other's shoulders, finding comfort in the ones they probably thought least likely.

"Forgive me…please forgive me…" The boy sobbed.

"I forgive you…forgive me?" Donnie answered. The boy looked at him and smiled, tears still running down his cheeks.

"I forgive you."

Donnie smiled back. The boy suddenly began to glow. He began to laugh. Not the sinister laugh Donnie was used to hearing from him. It was a real laugh. He was truly happy.

"Thank you…for forgiving me."

Donnie nodded.

"And thank you, Splinter. For making me realize."

Splinter nodded as well.

"You are welcome child."

The boy's image began to fade away.

"I'm going to leave. Tell your girlfriend and your brothers I'm sorry."

Donnie blushed.

"Farewell…turtle…"

The boy faded more and more, and right when he was almost gone, there was a bright flash of light.

When Splinter opened his eyes again he was back in the dojo. He looked at his other three sons and April who had been waiting patiently. Their looked at Splinter and their faces lit up.

"Sensei…" Leo started. "Did you…?"

Leo silenced when Donnie stirred in front of them.

He slowly opened his eyes.

His own reddish-brown eyes.

"Donnie?"

Donnie turned towards Leo's voice. A small smile slowly spread across his face.

He sat up and hugged his brothers.

"You guys are the best brothers anyone could ever ask for."

Leo smiled and hugged him back.

"Aww, thanks man." Mikey giggled.

"We're glad your back Donnie." Leo answered.

"Thanks for not giving up on me."

"That's what brothers are for."

They broke the hug and smiled at one another, just happy that everyone was alive.

Donnie noticed April and gasped.

"April!"

"I'm glad you're okay Donnie." She said, grinning. Donnie crawled towards her.

"April…Are you okay? No, course not. You should be taking it easy so you can heal."

"Hey, I had to be here for you. Don't think I was just going to leave you alone after what happened."

Donnie blushed again. April hugged him.

"I'm glad you're back."

Donnie nodded.

Finally April let Donnie go and he turned to Splinter.

"Sensei, thank you."

"You are welcome, Donatello."

A warm silence settled over the group before Mikey stood and stretched.

"Wow, this moment would be finished off perfectly with some pizza! Want some Donnie?"

"I'd love some." Donnie answered.

With that, the teens started out of the Dojo, laughing and just appreciating each other's company.

Donnie was the last one out, but right before he got out the door he spun on his heel and ran back to Splinter.

"Dona-"

Donnie threw his arms around Splinter.

"Don't think you weren't getting one."

Splinter jolted, but smiled and hugged him back.

"I'm glad we're family…father."

"I am grateful as well…my son."

Donnie smiled and gave one final squeeze before running off to enjoy pizza with his family.

That night Splinter had a dream. The child rejoined with his mother and father, and a frown never passed his face again. He had been lost, but he found his way home. Where he felt safe, where he was happiest, where he was together with what he cherished.

Where he was together with his family.


End file.
